immortal to pain

i lay in bed with my eyes wide open, almost as if they had been blinded by the bright California sun.  my window is open which is very odd considering the fact that i don't recall opening any windows before i went to bed that night.  a cool breeze brushes my cheek which would be normal but it didn't come from the direction of the window, it came from the wall.  a thick piece of plaster giving off wind? i don't think so.  i get up to investigate, what a mistake that was.  i climb out of bed and put on my bathrobe.  i can feel the floorboards creak underneath my toes and my hair flutters from the unusual breeze from the wall.  i grab a flashlight from my closet and i spot a piece of string at my door.  i go to pick it up and down the hall i see a full blown homicide trap with fish hooks, claws, and knives.  i let out a huge gasp and rub my eyes to see if I'm dreaming, nope this is pure reality.  i turn around to go back to bed but it seems to be growing like a germ inside of an infants weak body.i realize that there's nowhere else to go but i know that my life is now going to be very limited or non existent.  i decide to plunge toward the window to escape and i almost make it but a dark grey creature with bold bright yellow eyes and wet fur.  i barely murmur "hi." and the creature pushes me into hell city and i fall on top of the spikes and they squeeze into the marrow of my bones and I'm surrounded by a pool of blood.  i cry and my tears aren't your typical tears, I'm crying a river of hemoglobin and I'm freaking out.  i get up only to trip onto fish hooks and they are now sinking into my spine and they hook onto the floorboards so i cant get up, I'm a fighter though so i try to force my body to uproot from the floor and a layer of skin comes off.  i scream but no sound is released from my blood stained lips and the creature throws me down the hallway and i land in a sea of poisonous snakes who bite my toes and sink their venom into my brain.  i look at my reflection in the mirror and my once jet black hair s now icy blond and my eyes aren't blue anymore, they are bold bright and yellow.  i am now the creature i feared a few seconds ago.  there is no escape, no loophole, no way out of this.  i am immortal

Renewal, what is it?

Renewal.  Its something everyone has to do at some point in their life.  maybe a good time would be getting a new job, suffering a bad breakup, or getting rid of old people in our lives.  whatever it is, it made you stop and think for a minute, commonly known as an epiphany.  it makes you look at life from a different perspective and makes you want to change.  change, what is that? well it depends on your particular situation, whatever it is you set a goal. whether that be exercising your way to a size 6, eating healthier, being happier, or accepting that you cant be perfect at everything.  I'm at a point where i need to have some major renewing in order to be happy again.  my friends have helped me, some have showed me that i should kick them out of my life for good, and others have encouraged me to do my best, which showed me that they are going to be in my life a whole lot longer.  I was starting to be okay with having an average job as a Spanish teacher, which would give up on the whole lawyer dream.  my friend, Jessalynne stepped in and said: hey! this isn't the Caitlin i know, anything is possible.  your in charge of your own destiny, you have the power to decide whether or not you want to make a difference in the world or if you just want to be the bum on the side of the road.  she convinced me that i have alot of potential to make a difference in the world, and in the economy.  so I'm going to get all A's in hopes of getting accepted to Harvard law.  its in your hands now, will you be successful in the world or will you constantly be a failure?